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Bad Bubble's revelations: "Bad Bubble belongs to the listeners. I would have it no other way"

Bad Bubble is a true maverick, fearlessly traversing uncharted territories and venturing into unexplored musical dimensions. Each composition is a vibrant amalgamation of eclectic influences, entwining electronic elements with organic electro sounds, resulting in a sonic landscape that is as captivating as it is unpredictable.

 

What sets Bad Bubble apart is not just his audacious experimentation, but also his remarkable ability to create a conceptual framework around his music. Each album, EP or single is meticulously crafted, infused with meaning and symbolism that delves deep into the human experience, his own experince. His artistry transcends mere entertainment, inviting listeners to embark on a thought-provoking journey that challenges their perceptions and provokes introspection. In an industry often driven by commercial viability, Bad Bubble stands as a beacon of authenticity, unapologetically embracing his artistic vision without compromising his creative integrity. His refusal to conform to societal expectations has garnered both acclaim and curiosity, making him an enigmatic figure in the contemporary music scene. Through his music, Bad Bubble beckons us to shed our preconceived notions and embrace the beauty of the unknown.


In this interview, we delve back into the world of Bad Bubble, exploring the origins of his artistic process, his inspirations, and the driving force behind his relentless pursuit of artistic expression. Join us as we uncover the secrets behind the Bad Bubble's experimental music, unveiling the thought-provoking concepts that lie at the heart of his sonic tapestries.

IB: Hi BB! We're excited to have you here at Indie Boulevard. First off, I want to express my admiration for your work, and I'm thrilled to delve back into your music. Today, I'd like to discuss the early stages of your musical journey as Bad Bubble. Let's skip ahead to the very beginning, the day when you realized that the first album, "Future 9," would undoubtedly be released. Can you recall that day? How did it go, and what motivated you to transition from mere contemplation to taking action?

BB: Well thank you so very much! I cannot begin to tell you what that means to me… You’ve heard and reviewed the very best in the world. So, that is really something, indeed…& It is my absolute pleasure to be here again. Future 9. Yes. Let’s dig in!

I don’t recall the exact day when I decided to do Future 9 in particular, but I do remember the night it was released. It was one of the greatest events of my life and it was a very long time in coming. I had never had the opportunity to go it alone before, nor did I know it was even possible to produce radio ready tracks at home. Keep in mind, I tuned out completely until an old friend of mine who had moved away got in touch with me and informed me it was even possible. This was two years ago. It was like I was in a time capsule. When I came out, I learned about all the advances in tech. There were a few different things which made me transition from dreaming to executing a plan. I just had no idea I would be here talking with you 2 years later. I had no idea… The night it was released was very surreal. Very bittersweet. Future 9 was released to no one. Zero people heard it. This is the plight of a newbie. However, I knew I could not release an album of b-sides and unmemorable songs. I knew that if I reached a certain level, people would go back and look. I did not want them to see mediocrity. Quite the opposite.


I wanted them to see an artist with some resemblance of competence. I also purposefully made it a more slower, dramatic album (Autumn, The Eggs I). I wanted there to be meat and potatoes on the record in case someone does in fact go back and look. I wanted to give them an authentic BB record. Of the things which motivated the transition was, above all….to finally release my first album ever. And I am pleased with the result. It was a long time in the coming. All the crappy shows, all the drama with band members in the past, their girlfriends, their landlords, their parole officers… the crappy venues, parking lot fights, dance floor fights, bathroom fights, drugs, alcohol, all the things I had to deal with…It was at that moment, worth it. Because it led me here… But it did break my heart to see Digital Zero, This is for Kori, SummerFall, That Day, all the songs I feel people would really love, fall on deaf ears. That was tough….But…they’re there now…Waiting on ears…


IB: Recording a debut album is always an exhilarating experience for any artist. I'm curious, how did you go about preparing for the recording process of your first album? Were there any fears or doubts that you encountered, and if so, how did you navigate through them?


BB: Doubts…Yes, but they were quickly erased. It poured out of my gear. I have trouble explaining what happened in October, 2021-January, 2022. I still don’t know. I started writing again. It had been years. And it just kept coming. I remember telling my audio engineer and my friend Kristi (This is for Kristi) the same thing. I had actually expressed concern to them both. Stating that I don’t know what this is but I’m becoming concerned. They both (thankfully) told me not to worry and eventually I would stop. Which I still haven't, but it's under more calmer approaches. The only doubts I had were technical. Which buttons and how and why and when…I never had any doubt the record would meet any creative challenges. I knew from the outline I use (mapping out the entire story) where I had to go lyrically. I had to start from the beginning. But Future 9 is not necessarily the beginning in real time. Technically, that would be The Mall Chronicles as it covers more of my childhood. But in this story, I don’t use real time. Just where I felt the story would be better to begin. A place which would make people care in the first place.

IB: I believe that the titles of your albums, including "Future 9," play an integral role in your narrative. They may represent significant locations where your events unfold. It reminded me of our previous conversation and a particular line from your single "Digital Zero" off the "Future 9" album. You sing, "Even when on the nine...". I'm curious to know, what is the hidden secret behind these meanings?


BB: Thank you for asking. Oh boy…. When I wrote that line, I asked myself how long it will be before someone asks me the question you just did. The answer is just shy of 2 years. This is a very big question asked only by someone paying attention to the details. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. And since you did ask, I will try to tell you with no ambiguity and in full. There are many songs tied into each other and interwoven. I did this simply to add depth to the project. And admittedly, it’s fun.. It is an attempt to offer something for discovery to the listener who is actually paying attention and offer a sense of belonging. There are many, many more buried in different songs throughout the entire story. This particular thread line is tied to at least a dozen songs. It alludes to Future 9 and what it actually is There is a poem of mine which is in at least a dozen songs. They all repeat the same lines. “There’s a place in my heart where we live together with our daughter. It only rains when we are thirsty and no one will ever take that away from me”.


This line references a song on Underscore’s Accord. It is not a special song in any sense. It was designed to be just that. I could not have this key piece of information in an album single like May I? or Jupiter, or even Die, You. It would have been too “front and center”, which would have been a mistake. I needed it in a song that blends in and hides behind the air. A song that most will skip over. Especially with attention spans as low as they are today. Retch, from Underscore’s Accord, was the perfect capsule for this. However, if you listen to Retch all the way until the end, you will find a beautiful outro. It’s a minute/minute and a half or so in length. That is the heart of the entire Bad Bubble story. Digital Zero does not reference Retch. Digital Zero references Future 9, as does Retch.. I had to put that one clue (There is no future now, even when on the nines) in a great song, which I consider Digital Zero to be, in my humble opinion. This way it would raise eyebrows (as it did yours) and those listening will begin putting their heads in the lyric sheets.That line, in Digital Zero, which references Future 9, is a message to Underscore. It is a plea. A very important plea.

Fast forward to the end. There is a track I’m releasing towards the end of this story and If you’ve followed me on Twitter, I’ve actually played this song many times. It’s called Overwear. At the very end, once again you’ll hear the poem (There’s a place in my heart where we live together with our daughter. It only rains when we are thirsty, and no one will ever take that away from me). But also, the opening line of the song, “Jupiter breathes today. Somehow I know, we’ll be alright’. That is a reference to Anna, who never took a breath. Anna is Jupiter. But she breathes…This is in reference to Future 9. Future 9 is a destination. There are many songs which are tied to Future 9. Digital Zero is just one. Overwear, Us, This is for Jebin, Your Sour Man, All Away, and many, many others who all reference Future 9. But they all point to Retch. At the end of Retch, it describes this destination and I am speaking directly to Anna. The original poem had a couple of extra lines which I had omitted. But I’ll provide them here. It is as follows:

Excerpt from Retch:

I’ve built it…piece by piece…the blueprints stream through my veins…I have it all planned out…in my heart…it’s beautiful…and I will go there one day…Until then, I dream, cry, and plan accordingly…I don’t give a goddamn who thinks its a waste of time…I know every square inch of that place…It's in my heart..and I will see you there…I’ve built you a place to breathe…and all your fears will fade…

(This is very hard to discuss. I hope I am doing okay…)

Anyone who is familiar with Bad Bubble at this point knows I like to plan things out. I have a gift of long term planning. I’m not good at most things in this life. I’m not a mechanic or a chef or an entrepreneur. I’m no athlete, not a scientist, and I can barely count. But I do enjoy creating a strategy to implement in a long term plan. And if there is one thing I did with more accuracy, precision, and attention to detail than Bad Bubble, it is the construction of Future 9. Future 9 is something I’ve built. It took me a very long time. Over a year. It’s for Anna. It’s in my heart and it’s where she lives. She is there watching over and protecting the love I have for her mother, Underscore. It may be better to think of Future 9 as a beautiful home, or village…but it is much more. Future 9 is where I will spend my eternity with the one person who has never left me, even though she’s the only one who is actually gone. Future 9 is my heaven. I’ve spent countless hours designing it. I have it all written out on hundreds of pages of paper. I spent many tears on its design. I wanted it to be perfect. A perfect place for my little girl. She has many things there. Anything which anyone could possibly want. She never received an opportunity here in this world. That is unacceptable. I will not allow that to go unaddressed. I’ve built her something extraordinary, besides Bad Bubble. Bad Bubble belongs to the listeners. You, me, everyone who listens are all entitled to their piece of BB. I would have it no other way.

But Future 9, that’s ours. It belongs to myself, Anna, and Underscore. It is a perfect place with full attention to detail. But also, beautiful in its simplicity. She’s there now. She’s waiting for me to meet her. Which I will. She was not allowed a breath of air on Earth, but I will see her breathe easy, I’ve made sure of it. She will put her arm around me and I will not be scared or jump. We will laugh and we will talk, uninterrupted. I won’t stutter and I will smile. Not a fake one. But a real one. I will not wear a mask or disguise of any kind. All the people who left me will not be there. All the things which haunt me here will find their new home in the dustbin. We will have nothing to do with any of it, anymore. We’ll do what every family does and takes for granted, thinking for some reason, tomorrow is an entitlement. Anna will hold her daddy’s hand and we will have our day. And it will be a Fine Day. And no one will ever take that away from me. Thank you for asking this very important question. I hope I did okay explaining things. And from an old, beat up heart, thank you very, very much…

IB: "Future 9" is an album that holds a great deal of sadness for me. It carries a weight of pain, loneliness, and a longing to reclaim what was lost. While I could be mistaken, I believe that the musical genre played a vital role in this portrayal. I'm interested to know, how did you utilize autotune and synth music to embody and amplify the distinct personalities of the characters in "Future 9"? How did you approach capturing their emotions and translating them into sound?


BB: In regards to the autotune, I used it a lot when I first started for two reasons. The first being, I was simply scared of my voice. I hate my voice. Not as much now as when I first started. I hadn’t worked the mic in years. Hadn’t touched one. It was maybe 2 weeks from when I unboxed gear to when I hit the record. Also when I first started, I was working brand new gear fresh out of Sweetwater. So I was as green as the grass again. I did everything myself with YouTube tutorials and the manuals as my only guides. After a few days, I started getting a little more comfortable.and discovered the second reason why I used it then, which was the way cool tails. Autotune has a very distinctive tail that I grew to love in the early days. It added a cool “flutter” to the end of each line or word. I wasn’t able to ever duplicate or find anything else similar. Over time, I shed the autotune almost completely but in the early days, I used it as a disguise and for the tails. My original plan was to be completely unrecognizable. I wanted to sound like an angry robot. Thankfully, I didn’t follow through with that. Or perhaps I should have, we’ll never know.


In regards to the synths, I’ve always loved them. I’ve never once owned one, but I did love them. I use the Korg Wavestate, exclusively. I even have an emergency WaveState in case mine were to have ever found itself busted up. Thankfully, it never did. But I love it. I’m able to pretty much build my own waves. Multi layered sound waves with change from one thing to another. I can start out sounding like a piano and morph into a sax into a trombone if I feel the desire. I’m able to grab a hold of each little thing I like about a wave, Zero in on it, and cut out everything else. Using the WaveState as much as I have, I got really fast at building waves. I can build a basic one in no time now. With manipulation like this, I’m able to find those sad things I love about certain waves, isolate it, and bring it on over to my new wave. And yes, I do use certain elements for certain characters which are theirs. Songs like Die, You or Galaxy Girl all have their own signature. Even songs like Low Sevens and Usurped have their own flavor. Underscore (Song, not album) utilizes choir hymn effects to give it its own texture. Nice ears you have to catch that. Thanks again! I wanted Underscore to have a “heavenly” texture which the choir is perfect for. Other songs which are more conflict songs to add the antagonist or a love gone wrong, I tried to have sounds which “broke things up”. My Frog and Die, You, among many others are examples. Not in every case, but in most cases, songs of self reflection and unanswered questions I try to use simple piano. Autumn and the Overture is a good example. So is Hice, The Wonderment, and This is for Kristi. All use simple piano and all either ask an important question, or offer an important statement.


IB: Loneliness is a recurring theme in your music, evoking a profound sense of introspection and reflection. In the song, when the hero returns home, he finds that his house is empty, and as a result, his ordinary days take on a different meaning. How do you explore and express the depths of loneliness in your songs, and what do you hope listeners will take away from these poignant and introspective moments?


BB: Good question. Allow me to share some more inside information. You’re referring to That Day. Future 9 has another character. Underscore is referenced, of course, but there is another character. No, not Kori. Kori by the way is a hair stylist in the midwest. She lives a very normal life somewhere out there. She used to do my hair. I haven't seen her in a very long time. I told her the song I wrote for her is my number 1. She gets a kick out of all of this. Kori told me once, when you are with someone you’re not supposed to be with, you’re screwing yourself, the person you’re with, the person they’re supposed to be with, and the person you’re supposed to be with. And on and on and on..That is what ‘This is for Kori’ is about. “I was the darkness…in the way of her lanturn…she was trying to get through…to you”. Which brings me to the other character. Autumn and the Overture is one of my low key favs. That is a very special song. I took the longest with that one out of all the tracks on Future 9. Autumn is not a season. She’s a person. She was my wife.

I was in love with Underscore. But we had parted ways before I was truly ever able to tell her how I felt. This was well after Anna had passed. I hadn’t seen Underscore. The last I had heard, she was with someone and was not doing well. I knew what that meant. Around this time, I was so young. Young and terribly stupid. I could fill a book with my mistakes. But, she was with someone. And as much as I didn’t want to, I gave over concerns of her to whoever this person is she is with. And trust she made a good decision and found a good man. Then, I grew very stupid and did what everyone in my orbit was telling me to do. I tried to move on. And I made a horrible mistake. My life and this story are so full of mistakes. I am definitely not the pure innocent of the story, Anna is. .If you are reading this, remember what I tell you. If you are in love with someone, do not “get over it” on someone else’s advice. You take your time. If it takes 30 years, so be it. If you are like me, and you won’t ever let go, then don’t. It’s not fair to the other person. Autumn is a nice person, whom I wish well. But Underscore is my Underscore. Autumn has since remarried and lives somewhere far away. I wish her all the best as I accept my place, alone in this world. However, this was a long time ago. Any mistakes I’ve made with Autumn, I’ve paid for, 200 times over. We didn’t waste much of each other's time in the grand scheme of things. I had to make mention of Autumn. She has nothing more to do with this story and only appears here and briefly in February, 2022. But I felt I had to make a mention of Autumn.


Album 5 covers the isolation, in great detail. As well as Past One EP and The Mall Chronicles EP. It’s a recurring theme. One we’ve yet to even scratch the surface. I have been living completely alone for 10 years. When I say alone, I mean it. I have no family of my own. I have no friends. Not a single one. I haven’t had a significant other in as long. Some events are going to transpire in the next few albums you will learn all about. It is why I decided to withdraw from all normalcy. I’m not a shut in. I wish I could be, but I can’t. I do go outside of my house. But over the last 10 years, there were times which months passed where I did not speak to a single person. Today, no one calls me, no one comes over. I have spent 10 Christmases, 10 Thanksgivings, 10 Birthdays, etc..completely alone. But we’ll get into that in LP 5. But yes, Loneliness, Isolation, all have their own seats at this big empty table. I offer no solutions. Matter of fact, if anyone has solutions, DM me. I’m more ringing the alarm. Because I’m not the only one. But again, This is album 5 and this is going to be a long 22 week conversation on loneliness, isolation, depression, mental health, all of it. I don’t know what is going on, but we are in a crisis and no one seems to care. At least that's how it used to be, before I got here because I am about to run straight at it. I have a unique perspective on this topic and I elaborate in full on LP 5. And it’s an important topic.


IB: The opening track, "Velvet Off," on your album "Future 9" sounds absolutely breathtaking. It gives the impression of a full-fledged orchestra participating in the recording. I'm curious to know how you accomplished the creation of this remarkable orchestral track.


BB: I studied classical music and orchestra all throughout my childhood. Either in school, on my own, or with my mother, a dangerously gifted pianist. So my basic understanding of how an orchestra operates comes from there. I was First Chair, String Bass for the All City Orchestra in my hometown when I was in early high school. I’ve always had, and continue to have a love of Classical Music I have a track which I plan on revamping before Album 5 drops, that has already been released. It's called “This is for Kristi”. By the way, any song I have called “This is for…”, please keep in mind, it is FOR them, not necessarily about them. Anyway, Kristi is a longtime, dear friend. Before you start thinking, “why not reach out to Kristi?” I have. But she has her own life, her own marriage, and her own family, which I would never disrespect.

She used to be my employer. She's one of those weirdos who actually thinks I have attributes worth manicuring. She's wonderful, and a true lady. Very elegant and viciously intelligent. She will recite a phone number someone gave her in 2002 and will do things like balancing checkbooks old school with no pen or paper for the sheer hell of it. I started writing instrumentals mainly for her. Only because she enjoyed them. To actually impress Kristi is something very few have really, truly done. Her standards in all things are very high, and rightfully so. But I have impressed her quite a few times with these instrumentals and I say that with great pride, knowing full well what that actually means.


I haven’t seen her in quite sometime but we do communicate every now and again via text message. She’s a career woman and she’s done quite well for herself. But man… she enjoys the instrumentals. This was a little before Bad Bubble. When I knew this was going to be a big project, I came up with making an instrumental melody from a song off of the prior album. I’ll give ya one, on the house. If you listen to Concinnous (track 1, Underscore’s Accord), it should sound very familiar. That is because the climax of the song, which plays two or three times, is actually the chorus from Jupiter. That is what each one has. With Velvet off, a very small part is taken from a track off of Album 8. So the snake ate its tail. I love Velvet Off. It is one of my absolute favorite tracks of all the songs.I started it from there. A little piece of a melody from a track off of album 8. And I added and added. A cello here, a string bass, a viola…I worked on the song until Kristi finally said, “I love it”. I am very happy with the way Velvet Off finally came out. I must also credit my audio engineer. When Future 9 came out, Kristi told me Velvet Off was her favorite track on the record.


IB: In your music, there are moments where love and hate seem to intertwine, creating a complex emotional landscape. The lyrics from the song ''The Eggs' "Are all now fine...and you’ll be proud... Cause I became a soldier And you’re the enemy...And I will rip your heart out.." Could you delve deeper into the inspiration behind these lyrics and the significance they hold within the song? What emotions did you aim to evoke with such powerful and provocative words?


BB: The entire Eggs series is from a time in my life I knew I had to change. But I have a tendency to take things past where they should have stopped. For instance, when I quit smoking, I then joined a gym and became a weight lifter. I then did something which would change everything. All because I wanted to quit smoking. This was a long time ago but I still do this. The Eggs I, from Future 9, is me talking to myself. I’m telling myself to take all which is frowned upon and disliked by Underscore, isolate it, and eradicate it. There are things in this song to be taken literally, and other things to be taken metaphorically. Ask me this after album six, I’ll clarify completely. When I first met Underscore, long before Autumn, I was a completely different person. I had traits which she did not approve of. At the time, I wasn’t too concerned. But at the time I wrote The Eggs I, I reflected on all of those things. And I changed. I got rid of all which I thought drove her away. This took a very long time and a ton of self discipline. However, after further reflection of events from Albums 7 & 8, I’m wondering if those things are what she actually did like about me.


There is no way to find out for sure now, but that’s what I think about over and over and over. This is what I will continue to think about for years to come. I never do what is common knowledge for some. I’ve heard people say, “she will accept you for who you are”. I’ve also found that to not be true. It’s hard to know what to do. But at that point, I knew I wanted her back. I can’t say anything else because this is album 7 territory. But just know that The Eggs series is about the lengths I went to get someone back. I never do anything halfway. And I love grand, elaborate, long term plans. Some succeed, some fail. The Eggs 1 is knowing I have to do something. I am the soldier. The parts of me which I think/thought she disapproved of, were the enemy & needed to be killed. So I killed them. All of them. No matter how big or small. It is just one part of what I ended up doing. When this story has reached its conclusion, no one will be able to tell me with a straight face that I don’t love her. They may laugh, but they won’t lie.



"MARK ME DOWN AS A SALINGER"


IB: What proved to be the most challenging aspect of writing lyrics for you, and conversely, what aspects brought you joy and happiness during the process?

BB: There are songs which stem from poems. However during a climactic moment, the right words must be said. I do not change my words. I never have. Not even once. No one will ever know if I did or not, nor would they care. But I would know and it matters. Bad Bubble must never cut corners or ever let up. I’ve done that in so many things in my life. Which is how I ended up in this mess. It’s important I do not do this now. For example, let's say I've come to a part in my song, a chorus or a part which people will take with them. The line for that part, if it is taken from a poem, must be right. If it is not, I have to work it out musically. & remember.. I don’t use software. Vocals are the last thing I do in the recording process. So if I cannot somehow make it work? That means start over. That’s the discipline. What has brought me joy? When I hear that one great chorus. Album 2, Galaxy Girl. My Frog. Hice, Digital Zero, Messier 31. They all have those great lines. That brings me joy. It also brings me joy to know it's not an every song thing, thankfully. That’s what makes those tracks special and memorable. Album 5, All My Friends. is chalked full of these types of songs. With those great choruses. I got lucky with this next record.


IB: While this question may seem unusual, I'm curious to explore a hypothetical scenario with you. Considering the unpredictability of life, have you ever pondered what it would be like if your music suddenly catapulted you into immense popularity? Some ride the wave of popularity, creating what they could not achieve when they were unknown. On the other hand, there are those who, after gaining popularity, choose to hide from the world, like Jerome Salinger. How would you have acted in this situation?

BB: It’s very ironic you chose J.D.Salinger. The writer who became a recluse. As I am the recluse who became a writer. However, popularity is something I know nothing about. So it’s very hard to imagine. That said, as we move further forward, you will find I have actually lived a very full life. It’s crazy to think of all the things I’ve seen and done. I’ve been all over the world. Just not how you think. Not traditionally. But I was nevertheless in situations which gave the wisdom of life experience, to say the least. I wasn’t always here in the middle of nowhere. To answer this…highly probable and entertaining question, here’s what I would and wouldn’t do. I would not use it as an excuse to do any further damage to myself. I’m not a party guy. I used to be, I suppose, but I've burned my hand too many times on that stove. Plus after everything, all of that seems really small to me. I just can’t see myself getting swept away. However… I would love to work with a team of professionals. I’ve never had the opportunity. It would be nice to work with the best. I don’t mean from a phone. Out there (points to the window) To get out in the real world and meet people in this business. Not the industry, but the business. I would love that. To earn their respect…


I would also get back on stage. I love playing live. I really miss it. I would love a tour… But at the end of the bucket list things, I do believe I would return here. I’m in the place I belong. Pondering what was once, and what went wrong. I belong in a life of anonymity. To go to a grocery store in the midwest, USA with earbuds getting weird looks from some and no looks at all from others. To see a girl I find interesting, take a couple of steps in her direction, only to stop when her bf or husband shows up. Turning around to walk away, calling myself an idiot for the 900th time. To try on occasion, dinner at a restaurant by myself, pretending to be waiting on someone. Only to leave early because it amplifies loneliness. It’s the life I have, and I’ll get through it, one way or another. As bad as I say it is, I know I would miss it if I were suddenly surrounded by people who were not here at the beginning stages.

So yeah, mark me down as a Salinger…


IB: As more than a year has passed since the release of the album "Future 9," reflection becomes inevitable. Looking back, is there anything specific within your debut album that, with the benefit of hindsight, you would have liked to change or refine over time?


BB: Well, there is the one question I haven’t been able to come to any kind of conclusion on. Software vs Hardware. When I started, I had a decision to make regarding this very issue. Obviously, I chose hardware and playing different instruments. But the pros v cons on this are pretty close. With hardware, I feel more like an artist. I’m utilizing the skills I have. I didn’t really have to learn how to play anything since I already knew.. I just needed to learn, as quickly as possible, how to get the best possible recording to send off to audio. The cons of hardware aren’t as limited in comparison. I’m leaving myself prone to mistakes I don’t catch. (Believe me, this is an issue. If you hear the same thing over and over, a huge mistake could be staring you in the face and you won’t know it). I was limited and had no access to many things I hear in music created by software. With software, the pros are the obvious, wider scope of bells and whistles. More accurate, less mistakes. The cons are, I won’t feel much like an artist (again, this is just me)...and the main problem…the issue which swung me towards hardware. The learning curve. I had so much to worry about. Writing a good, compelling summary of everything. Giving it a soul, or a reason people should hear.


I had the mix/master to pay for. I had to learn 4 synths, drum programming, Building the waves we discussed earlier.. Lyrics. Copyright. Then, I had to learn social media, which I’ve never had before except myspace when I was a kid. I had to learn what to do on social media. Who to trust, who to watch out for. Artwork for 160 songs. Distribution (didn’t know anything about it). Me being the planner I am, I knew I would need to have some kind of tax protection, so I had to start an LLC, Bad Bubble Publishing Company. I’m not rich, or anywhere near it, so I still had to not be homeless. I have to work a full time job while balancing all of this, with no encouragement, no resources, no support, completely alone, with no one to ask if I’m doing this right. Only my little girl for motivation. And a promise I made to her, and to Underscore, as well as to myself. To give Anna a purpose in this world. It’s her world too. The more people who hear her name, the more people will remember her. And that's all any of us can ask for in the grand scheme of things…to be remembered. A purpose, a reason…those who remember her, will take her along in their hearts. From time to time, they’ll remember her story, for years to come. And they’ll know she was loved. And her purpose will be as pure and innocent as she is. It will be one of love. The love of a daughter who knows she is loved. Not the love that is weaponized. The pure form of love. Love that is not capable of causing harm. Pain, yes. But never harm. She will have her place in this world. And I just may be able to sleep again….

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